aga
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Abuse in Chemistry Must Stop
WARNING ! This post contains images that may disturb some readers, and should not be viewed by under-18's or people with heart
conditions.
Today i was called into surgery to deal with with a case of extreme chemistry-related abuse.
Initially the patient presented with chronic dermatitis, arrythmia and episodes of suspected transient ischemic attack.
Shockingly the subject was only 2 years old, with Korean origins, yet was discovered in Europe in the possession of an adult European male.
Tests showed that the patient had been forced to participate in Substance Abuse on a regular basis.
The variety of the dermal lesions suggested that the subject had regularly been exposed to high concentrations of hazardous chemicals.
During the examination the patient underwent a seizure, so the decision was made to immediately begin exploratory surgery.
Due to lasting chemical effects on the fascia, special procedures were required to open the corpus<sup><a
href="#grinder">[1]</a></sup>
The exploratory found the subject to have severe haemochromatosis<sup><a href="#rusty">[2]</a></sup> evident in several areas,
including the central nervous system, which may explain the seizures.
The dermatital material was deemed non-functional, so 80% was resected using special techniques<sup><a
href="#grinder2">[3]</a></sup> followed by an immediate transplant<sup><a href="#paint">[4]</a></sup>
This was required due to the high level of damage.
Currently the subject is in an induced coma<sup><a href="#plug">[5]</a></sup> pending the outcome of the transplant and will
likely need neurosurgery<sup><a href="#laq">[6]</a></sup> before being considered for release.
In the following photographs the face has been obscured to protect the identity as the subject is a minor.
      
This patient was discovered locked in a small Shed in a remote location in Spain.
<sup>1</sup><a name="grinder"></a> Needed an angle grinder to cut the screw heads off
<sup>2</sup><a name="rusty"></a> Gone all rusty
<sup>3</sup><a name="grinder2"></a> Angle grinder to get the paint & rust off
<sup>4</sup><a name="paint"></a> Cleaned, degreased with acetone then painted
<sup>5</sup><a name="plug"></a> It's not plugged in
<sup>6</sup><a name="lac"></a> That Pot needs changing and the whole circuit board could do with some paint, laquer,
something to protect the components.
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crystal grower
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Oh my got, I pray for fast recovery  .
By the way, how did u conclude that your patient has arrythmia? L0L .
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aga
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Standard qualitative audiometric analysis, obviously (ears).
The Stirrer sounded like :
BzzzzBZZZZZt .... Bzzz brr brr BzzzztbztbztBZZZZZ ..... brrrr.
That's representative of a Classic arrythmian stirriogram, hence the diagnosis.
There was no time for a CT or MRI scan.
[Edited on 8-5-2016 by aga]
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Metacelsus
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Putting a magnetic stirrer in an MRI machine would be all sorts of fun . . .
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kt5000
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Vacuum pump abuse and now hotplate abuse. Where does it end??
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j_sum1
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I hear that aga wants a rotovap.
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gdflp
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aga, it may be time for a permaban. We cannot tolerate repeat offenders of such heinous crimes here on SM.
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Artemus Gordon
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The horror! The horror!
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aga
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I am pleased to announce that the skin graft held, induced coma has been discontinued (it's plugged in again) and the patient has returned to full
health.
The ordeal has left it with some scars, although it is now showing a healthy interest in heating stuff up and whizzing it around.
Naturally the Substance Abuse will continue.
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Eosin Y
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So it's been taken off the life support? Is it on wharfarin to thin its blood?
Perhaps it might start its own user account as part of a rehabilitation program.
EDIT:
I tried to set up an account as 'Aga's Hotplate' but the name had already been reserved! 
[Edited on 10-5-2016 by Eosin Y]
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Chemist_Cup_Noodles
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Using an angle grinder sounds like a very aggressive surgical tactic on a 2 year old Korean. Where did you get your M.D., again?
I'll be honest-- We're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do.
-Cave Johnson, Portal 2
Add yourself to this map of SciMad members! https://zeemaps.com/map?group=388676&add=1
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Eosin Y
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He had it on an oxygen mask supplied by burning ammonium nitrate.
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aga
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B&D University of course. Where else ?
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Metacelsus
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Which, of course, also served to provide N2O anesthetic. Brilliant!
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aga
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So i might not have an actual M.D. but i i do have a CSE in metalwork and a CSE in Biology.
To quote Alexi Sale:
"If you want your cat welding, i'm your man.".
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