jellywerker
Harmless
Posts: 8
Registered: 17-9-2006
Location: Northwest United States
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Mood: Pensive
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convincing the parental unit
After some reading on Tacho's site, I solved my main equipment issue and was about to start getting some equipment and chems together when I got a
resounding "Not in my house." from my mother. Needless to say, this had me somewhat by suprise, as she usually is supportive of me doing science
stuff, has a minor in chem herself, and had just recently asked me when I was going to get off my butt and go do some of the stuff I am always reading
about. I told her when I got some money, which quite by luck, I did, as apparently my parents payed for a payment I thought I had made, leaving me
with some cash to work with.
Anyways though, I proceded to ask her why, etc... and got a lot of vague answers, centering mostly on her belief that somehow I'm going to burn the
house down or turn a family member into pink mist or something. One of her quotes was "I'd rather stay ignorant and safe." very much against what I
believe, but she's my mom, so whatever, but how do I go about convincing her that home chemistry and pyro stuff is safe on the scale I intend to work
on as long as you aren't stupid and take proper safety precautions? She doesn't seem to want to understand that this is something I cannot do in
school, and that there aren't local pyro/chem shops where you can go and learn from the proverbial men behind the counter.
I'm somewhat confused and bothered by the whole thing, and need some advice.
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Waffles
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Registered: 1-10-2006
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Do you have a garage/shed?
I certainly got kicked out of the kitchen after a couple small mishaps- but if you have somewhere outside, sort of away from the main house- do it
anyways, they can't STOP you. My parents resigned themselves to it after they realized throwing all my stuff away would probably be much more
dangerous/ecologically harmful than letting me do whatever with it.
\"…\'tis man\'s perdition to be safe, when for the truth he ought to die.\"
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S.C. Wack
bibliomaster
Posts: 2419
Registered: 7-5-2004
Location: Cornworld, Central USA
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Get used to it, because that is generally how women are. They are one of if not the biggest obstacle to home chemistry.
I suggest renting a garage if possible, telling the owner that you're doing woodwork, or some such. Wood and tools are necessary to avoid freaking out
the owner. It would be nice to avoid lying and all, but the current mindset of the sheeple makes this problematic.
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Magpie
lab constructor
Posts: 5939
Registered: 1-11-2003
Location: USA
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Mood: Chemistry: the subtle science.
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I'd say that if your mother has a minor in chemistry and wants you to "get off your ass and do something" that you already have the battle half won.
You have to gain her confidence that you can do chemistry safely and responsibly. Start by keeping her heavily involved. Plan out all your proposed
experiments in detail and get her to review them before you do them. You will not only gain her confidence but she may become a
valuable mentor and lab assistant.
And don't start with a plan to make nitric acid! 
The single most important condition for a successful synthesis is good mixing - Nicodem
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Waffles
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Magpie
I'd say that if your mother has a minor in chemistry and wants you to "get off your ass and do something" that you already have the battle half won.
You have to gain her confidence that you can do chemistry safely and responsibly. Start by keeping her heavily involved. Plan out all your proposed
experiments in detail and get her to review them before you do them. You will not only gain her confidence but she may become a
valuable mentor and lab assistant. |
This worked up until I started playing around with cast pyrotechnic mixtures and organic peroxides…
\"…\'tis man\'s perdition to be safe, when for the truth he ought to die.\"
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Mr. Wizard
International Hazard
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Registered: 30-3-2003
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That's when the Darwinian predisposition to keep her DNA contribution to the 'game' of life kicked in. She doesn't care how many experiments you do,
she wants grandchildren, even if it means you work digging ditches. A son with one eye and no fingers on one arm stump isn't a good bet for the DNA
lottery.
The only real success in life is passing on your DNA. Mom's may not be able to put it into words, but they know in their gut. That's my take on it.
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woelen
Super Administrator
Posts: 7977
Registered: 20-8-2005
Location: Netherlands
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Mood: interested
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There is a lot of chemistry, which can be done without fire and/or explosions. Try to talk with her and try to determine where her borders are.
Probably you crossed a (not explicitly stated) border with the pyro stuff.
Also, try to find a place in the home, where chemical experiments do not interfere with the normal house-life. So, the kitchen definitely is not the
best place to do experiments. Don't you have a nice room upstairs, with running water nearby (e.g. a bath room) and a window, which can be opened for
ventilation? Also store all of your chems in a single place. Chems spread throughout the house also is not the best thing to do. A garage or a barn
also may be an option. Be sure then, that you store the chems in a dry way. Unheated rooms can become very humid, especially in autumn/winter times.
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not_important
International Hazard
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Registered: 21-7-2006
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You might also find some 'alternative acctivites' that are more objectional to her, and feign an interest in taking up one or more of them. You are in
a good area for "Xtream Winter Sports", nothing like a few photos of people snowboarding down cliff faces to revalue the dangers of a home lab. Get on
the mailing lists of groups assoicated with Earth Liberation Front, and leave around fliers for rallies of that flavour. Extream body modifications,
there are great Web sites and magazines for the heavy piercing crowd, and think of the niobium and titanium you'd be collecting (ah, but you're too
young for that one to work). Join Jenova's Witnesses ( http://www.zestuff.com/vgcats/apparel/92/ ).
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Boobzilla
Harmless
Posts: 2
Registered: 11-9-2006
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Mood: Horny
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I had the same problem as you with my mom, but involving firearms. If your mom is in the same mindset as mine was, reasoning probably wont work.
Have you discussed pyro mixtures and such on very small scales? If you can do that you may be able to convince her over time that safety is a high
priority and with that gain her approval for larger projects.
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evil_lurker
National Hazard
Posts: 767
Registered: 12-3-2005
Location: United States of Elbonia
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Mood: On the wagon again.
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Not to be a party pooper, but I am on the OP mom's side on this one. Unless you live way out in the country with no neighors within a half mile
radius, Pyro stuff is NOT a hobby to be pursuing in these days and times. There is simply too much liability to be allowing a minor to persue such
hobbies. Hell even for an adult.
Just ask my cousin who decided it would be "k3wl" to set off some home made "bombz" in a dog house in his back yard. This was right after the Oklahoma
city bombing. Two days later the BATF came and picked him up. If it wasn't for the fact that he was a minor at the time and has a personality such
that he could sell a refrigerator to an eskimo, he would have been in deep dog poop.
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jellywerker
Harmless
Posts: 8
Registered: 17-9-2006
Location: Northwest United States
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Mood: Pensive
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Hmm, well, I'll talk to her, I figured I'd start out with some more basic experiments (like things that test my homemade equipment without fear of
something bad happening is a piece of equipment doesn't work) and some organic chem stuff, like extracting caffeine and concentrating chili oil (we're
a spicy foods kinda family  )
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mericad193724
Hazard to Others
Posts: 121
Registered: 4-6-2006
Location: New Jersey, USA
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Mood: why do you care?
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I had a similar problem when starting out with chemistry at home. The proposal to my parents that sealed the deal for the home lab is called the
"portable stow it all away lab."
Basically just tell your mom that you will keep all your stuff locked up, chemicals and equipment. This way she will always be supervising what you
don since she has to unlock your stuff. During this period do not dangerous experiments as you mentioned, caffeine extraction, sodium acetate, Methyl
Salicylate, making Cu powder from solution, make SOAP!, and many other. After she sees what you do a few times she will trust you and understand.
Therfore she will not enforce the "lock up" rule and eventually you will be free to do what you want.
It all depends how strict your mom is...mine is not very strict at all
Give it a try...I told my parents this and they never actually locked anything up...its an unspoken understanding between us.
Good luck with your situation. Don't give up!
Mericad
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