----------
This being the unexpurgated version.
THE AVERAGE BASEMENT BOMBER by Anonymous [aka d j haarmann]
PGII Bulletin #47 June, 1985
Common Rocket, Explosive and Incendiary Materials, according to Major Joseph
Stoffel, AUS (Ret.), (Explosives and Homemade Bombs 2nd ed., 1972) are as follows:
Charcoal, coal, coal Calcium hypochlorite Corn starch "Duco" cement, Gasoline,
Hydrogen peroxide, Liquid floor wax, Naphtha, Pitch, Rice powder, Soap powder,
Sulfur, Tapioca, Wheat flour, Coffee, Powdered Cocoa, Cork dust, Fuel oil Grease,
Kerosene, Vaseline, Match heads, Paraffin, Plaster of Paris, Sugar, Sawdust, Shellac,
Turpentine.
Well, with all this fine information it should be simple to compile a profile of the average
basement bomber, he is one who: owns a swimming pool (calcium hypochlorite), about
which he grows roses (sulfur), buggers his wife (vaseline) when not attending to the
leaking roof (pitch), or barbecuing (charcoal). His blonde (hydrogen peroxide) wife likes
to cook (corn starch, rice powder, wheat flour, tapioca), and makes her own jam or
jellies (paraffin) to show his thanks, he helps with the dishes (soap powder), although
occasionally he drops one ("Ducoll cement). After dinner he retires to the basement
workshop to turn out small clear finished (shellac) or painted (turpentine) wooden
objects (saw dust) for sale by the local Boy Scout troop. While he is cleaning his paint
brushes (kerosene), his wife makes them a hot drink (coffee, cocoa, sugar) on the stove
(match heads). Later while he tries to clean (naphtha) the clothing worn while working
on the car (grease, gasoline) yesterday, she will attend to the kitchen floor (liquid floor
wax) while making a mental note to get him to repair the hole in the wall (plaster of
Paris) where the door knob had struck it. After putting out the cat, being good
Americans, they turn down the furnace (fuel oil) in order to conserve energy, before
going to bed secure in the knowledge that they are safe from the long arm of the law. If
only they hadn't forgotten to get rid of the cork dust!
-----------
"The purchase, possession, and sale of ether in quantities exceeding 2.5 gallons, or equivalent by weight is regulated under Part II of the Florida
Drug and Cosmetic Act, Chapter 499, Florida Statutes. The following permits are available."
http://www.doh.state.fl.us/mqa/ddc/EtherReg.html
I could have a lot of fun with 2 1/2 gallons of ether.
|