devongrrl
Hazard to Self
Posts: 91
Registered: 28-7-2009
Member Is Offline
Mood: Nucleophilic
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Synthesis of Xmas cake
Precursors:
* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottles wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit
Procedure:
Sample the wine to check quality.
Take a large bowl and then check the wine again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK.
Try another cup, just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl.
Chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off the floor.
Mix on the turner !!
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Hic !!
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or is that two salts of a cup ?
Check the wine.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar or whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees while trying not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner !!
Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
Go to Sainsbury's and buy a cake.
Bingle Jells!
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hissingnoise
International Hazard
Posts: 3940
Registered: 26-12-2002
Member Is Offline
Mood: Pulverulescent!
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Hilarious, belsh . .
Now perfonr same in effiminate Oirish accemt.
Uisce Baetha or isit Brandy, oh and pass me the Polm.
More loud cheers. Cheers
[Edited on 25-12-2011 by hissingnoise]
[Edited on 25-12-2011 by hissingnoise]
' thTis the seaspn to be jelly.
[Edited on 25-12-2011 by hissingnoise]
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